(Note: * indicates documented events. What follows is based on documented events, firsthand involvement, and available records. It does not claim to represent final legal determinations.)
One of the first questions people ask is:
“If this was so serious, why didn’t you speak out sooner?”
It’s a fair question.
But it assumes something that isn’t true.
It assumes that speaking is simple.
The reality is this:
Speaking up inside a system like this is costly.
Not eventually.
Immediately.
The system you need to understand
Tien Shan is not just a school.
It is a system built around preservation.
Preservation of:
- Reputation
- Stability
- Continuity
And when something threatens those things, the system responds.
Not by asking:
“Is this true?”
But by asking:
“What happens if this becomes known?”
What that produces
When concerns are raised, especially serious ones, the response is not neutral.
It becomes protective.
And that protection shifts toward:
- Leadership
- The institution
- The appearance of safety
Not necessarily toward students.
What fear actually looks like
In August 2024, during a Child Safety Team meeting, Cecily Bader made a self-report of engaging in ‘a lot’ of grooming-related behavior.*
She was emotional. Shaken.
It was not ambiguous.
No immediate protective action or escalation was taken.
The meeting moved on.
That moment explains more than anything else I could say.
Why no one spoke
Everyone in that room understood something:
Speaking would have consequences.
Not abstract consequences.
Personal ones.
People knew:
- What happens to those who push too hard
- What happens to those who disrupt the system
- What happens to those who refuse to let something go
And so they stayed quiet.
What fear does over time
Fear doesn’t just silence people once.
It conditions them.
I had staff tell me directly:
They had been harmed.
They had seen harm done to others.
But they would never speak publicly against Hans.
Because they had “given up fighting him.”
That is not apathy.
That is learned survival.
What happened when I spoke
When I reported Hans for mishandling abuse cases (involving students and staff):
- I was told I was trying to destroy the school
- My motives were questioned
- My credibility was undermined
Students were told I was “delusional”.*
Board-level responses reinforced that narrative.
My wife was pressured to doubt what I experienced.*
That is what happens when someone breaks the pattern.
The deeper truth
People often assume:
“If it were really that bad, more people would say something.”
But the opposite is often true.
The more costly it is to speak—
The fewer people will.
Why we are speaking now
We did not wait because it wasn’t serious.
We waited because we were not able to speak.
Trauma does not produce clarity.
It produces shutdown.
It has taken time—distance from the system—to process what happened.
To regain stability.
To speak without being overwhelmed by it.
Final thought
If you want to understand silence in a situation like this, understand this:
In a system like Tien Shan, silence is not the absence of concern.
It is the presence of fear.
This post is also published on Substack: